1)  Poker with the boys. With the popularity of Lady Gaga’s hit song “Poker Face”, many women are becoming interested in the game of poker. As man who is confident in his manliness, I have to come forward and say that this is not a good development. Poker is a man’s game that was created by William Pokerfield, a woodcutter and champion beer drinker who was cursed by the nagging of his wife and ten daughters and needed an excuse to leave the cottage to discover himself, and the friendship of other men, through the life-affirming powers of poker. The first poker cards and chips were made out of wood. It was time consuming work to slice those pieces of wood so thing to create cards and eventually full poker sets. Then one had to hand-carve the different card faces and numbers into each slab. Allowing women to play poker is like a slap in the face to William Pokerfield and everything he stood for. Keep poker true to its roots and keep it segregated. Rant over.
2)  Work on your abs. Personally, I do an hour of abs everyday. The crunch of those abdominal muscles and the tight burning sensation you get after a good session is a feeling unlike any other in the world. Women with abs are not really women. The Bible teaches that women should not have the bodies of men and everyone knows that men have awesome abs so what better excuse to get away from the wife and kids than to tell them you’re going to go work on your abs? If your wife is a true believer in God and Jesus and the Holy Written Word of the Bible than she will have no choice but to leave you to your manly ab work, unable to join since she is bound by Bible Law. Did you know the Apostle Paul had a 12 pack? Truth.
3)  Grow a mustache. To grow a truly great, fear-inducing mustache, one must dedicate and set aside time. Some people think a mustache just grows on its own but these people have been deluded by their own flights of fancy. To grow a proper mustache you need zen-like concentration and the willpower to control the physiological elements of your body—in short, you need to tell your body how to grow a mustache. This type of concentration can only be done in solitude without interruption by wives or children, which is why it is a great hobby/excuse to get away from the family and have some quiet time to yourself. I have experimented with many styles, from fu manchus to Salvador Dalis and have learned that there is little difference between meditation and mustache growing, with the object of your concentration the only difference. While meditation is for pansies, mustache growing is for true men—“the salt of the earth”—men who find strength through personal willpower and a beautiful upper lip.
Alan Lomax is a freelance writer who is currently working on a pencil style mustache. It is much harder than it looks. Article Source:http://www.articlesbase.com/men’s-health-articles/three-fun-things-to-do-to-get-away-from-your-wife-and-kids-1484313.html
